No. 3 - Public Nonsense (Part One)
I often zone out when I’m on the subway. So do most people. Strangers do not talk to strangers, do they? Most of the time, strangers don’t even acknowledge other strangers. This can be exploited for personal fun.
The next time you are bored to tears on the subway, try the following.
Sit there, as usual, and stare out in front of you. Make sure you are in a crowded car. Without any preparation, loudly state the following:
“Whiney little children die of love!”
The next time you are bored to tears on the subway, try the following.
Sit there, as usual, and stare out in front of you. Make sure you are in a crowded car. Without any preparation, loudly state the following:
“Whiney little children die of love!”
Once said, continue to sit and stare out in front of you. Simply declare it, nothing more.
I almost guarantee you that nobody in the car will respond to you. They probably will continue to look ahead of them and pretend like you didn’t say anything at all. But they heard it. Watch their faces as they try to decipher what you just said and why you said it! It’ll keep you entertained for the rest of the ride. Even if it makes you uncomfortable, it’s not an ordinary trip. So that counts for something.
Also, don’t feel like you have to stick to my line above (even though it is tested, and always works). Write your own little bit of cryptic nonsense and go to town.
Here’s another favorite, which has been tested time and time again by my roommate Kevin.
Walk down the street in the populated area (7th Avenue South is always good) stretch your arms out in an inquisitive position, and loudly ask the following:
“Which way to the slopes?”
Say it in a broad New York accent and people will be bewildered and confused as all hell. Some may think you’re being racist, but all you’re doing is looking for a place to ski…..in the middle of Manhattan. I love this one.
Most of the time with these ideas (and tons of others) people will pretend it never happened. That was the case at college, it was the case in Venice, and it’s the case here. Just keep pushing people’s buttons and stirring the pot….it makes life exciting and at the very least, eccentric.
I almost guarantee you that nobody in the car will respond to you. They probably will continue to look ahead of them and pretend like you didn’t say anything at all. But they heard it. Watch their faces as they try to decipher what you just said and why you said it! It’ll keep you entertained for the rest of the ride. Even if it makes you uncomfortable, it’s not an ordinary trip. So that counts for something.
Also, don’t feel like you have to stick to my line above (even though it is tested, and always works). Write your own little bit of cryptic nonsense and go to town.
Here’s another favorite, which has been tested time and time again by my roommate Kevin.
Walk down the street in the populated area (7th Avenue South is always good) stretch your arms out in an inquisitive position, and loudly ask the following:
“Which way to the slopes?”
Say it in a broad New York accent and people will be bewildered and confused as all hell. Some may think you’re being racist, but all you’re doing is looking for a place to ski…..in the middle of Manhattan. I love this one.
Most of the time with these ideas (and tons of others) people will pretend it never happened. That was the case at college, it was the case in Venice, and it’s the case here. Just keep pushing people’s buttons and stirring the pot….it makes life exciting and at the very least, eccentric.
To the ends of the earth and back!
-Brian
-Brian
Poor Brian’s Almanac